This is a monologue by George Carlin...
Digital and smoke free.
A diversified, multicultural postmodern deconstructionist
Politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
I’ve been uplinked and downloaded.
I’ve been inputed and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing; I know the downside of upgrading.
I’m a high tech lowlife; a cutting edge state of the art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
I’m new wave but I’m old school.
And my inner child is outward bound.
I’m a hotwired, heat seeking, warmhearted, cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable.
I interface with my database and my database is in cyber space.
So I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet. Pushing the envelope.
I’m on point, on task, on message and off drugs.
I got no need for coke and speed.
I got no urge to binge and purge.
I’m in the moment, on the edge, over the top… but under the radar.
A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary.
A street wise, smart bomb.
A top gun, bottom feeder.
I wear power ties.
I tell power lies.
I take power naps.
I run victory laps.
I’m a totally ongoing, Bigfoot, slam-dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.
A raging workaholic, a working rageholic.
Out of rehab and in denial.
I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda.
You can’t shut me up, you can’t dumb me down, cause I’m tireless and I’m wireless.
I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.
I’m a nonbeliever and an overachiever.
Laid back but fashion forward.
Upfront, down-home, low rent, high maintenance.
Super size, long-lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready and built to last.
I’m a hands on, footloose, knee jerk headcase, prematurely posttraumatic and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.
But I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing… a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary caregiver.
My output is down but my income is up.
I take the short position on the long bond.
And my revenue stream has it’s own cash flow.
I read junk mail.
I eat junk food.
I buy junk bonds.
I watch trash sports.
I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex,
I like tough love.
I use the F-word in my email.
And the software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall.
I bought a minivan at a mega store.
I eat fast food in the slow lane.
I’m toll-free, bite size, ready to wear and I come in all sizes.
A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle.
I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum packed and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal…
Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked and ready to rock.
Rough, tough and hard to bluff.
I take it slow, I go with the flow.
I ride with the tide.
I got glide in my stride.
Driving and moving.
Sailing and spinning.
Jiving and grooving.
Wailing and winning.
I don’t snooze so I don’t loose.
I keep the pedal to the metal.
And the rubber on the road.
I party hardy and lunchtime is crunch time.
I’m hanging in… there ain’t no doubt.
And I’m hanging tough, over and out!' - George Carlin (A.K.A God)
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment